The quiet power of encouragement

We all have dreams. Things we would like to do, create, learn, or become. Ideas that cross our minds and promises we make to ourselves that one day, we will bring them to life.

Yet, between having a dream and daring to make it a reality, there can sometimes be a long journey ahead.

There are discouraging remarks, words that downplay our abilities, and questions that gradually make us doubt ourselves. There is also the fear of what others might think, the fear of failure, or that little voice inside our heads asking whether we are truly capable of seeing through what we set out to do.

I grew up in an environment where certain words could easily make me doubt my abilities. After hearing remarks that left me feeling as though I might not be capable of accomplishing much on my own, I eventually began, at times, to view my own dreams through that same lens.

I knew what I wanted to do. I had ideas, projects, and things I had been carrying within me for a long time. But there was often a gap between what I imagined and what I actually dared to pursue.

Sometimes, I would put my projects off until later, telling myself that I would eventually get around to them. Other times, I would begin bringing an idea to life, but just as I was about to take it further, certain things I had heard would come back to mind. They made me hesitate over things I genuinely wanted to accomplish.

It was as though, before even trying, I already had to fight against the belief that I was not capable of doing it.

And when we begin to believe, even partially, what we hear about ourselves, some dreams do not necessarily disappear. They become buried. We keep them somewhere within us, but gradually stop giving them a chance. We learn to put off until tomorrow what we might have been able to begin today.

I had pieces of writing I wanted to publish, creative ideas I wanted to develop, and poems I wished I could give a voice to. I also had other aspirations in different areas of my life. But between the desire to do something and the courage to take the first step, I sometimes allowed fear to take up too much space.

Then, there was someone in my life who, without necessarily knowing everything I was carrying within me, helped change something in the way I saw things.

It was not necessarily through grand speeches or encouragement directly related to my projects. Sometimes, it was simply through everyday conversations, remarks, questions, or suggestions that came naturally as we talked. Words that, taken individually, might have seemed entirely ordinary.

This person may not have known that I struggled with self-doubt, that some of my aspirations had remained buried for a long time, or that I sometimes needed a little push to dare to do what I already wanted to pursue. Yet, those conversations began to have an effect I might not have anticipated at first. Where I used to tell myself, “I’ll do it someday,” I began asking myself, “Why not now?”

Where I once thought certain things might be too big for me, I began to consider the possibility of trying. And where I had once allowed the words of the past to determine what I permitted myself to do, I gradually learned to stop giving those words the final say.

I would not say that this person created my dreams. They were already there. Nor did this person give me aspirations I had never had before. What changed was that their words helped me see differently what had already existed within me. It was as though something that had faded was slowly beginning to come back to life.

I eventually dared to publish my first book, Fear Not, after keeping that desire within me for a long time without taking action. I also began turning some of my creative ideas into something tangible by developing collections for ERIDIS.

Encouragement also helped me reconnect with spoken word, a form of spoken poetry that allows me to give a voice to the words I write. I was used to writing poems, but sharing them aloud was another story. I had to dare to take those words off the page and allow them to exist in a different way.

I was able to offer a wedding blessing in the form of a spoken-word piece to someone dear to me. It was something I had been carrying in my heart and eventually dared to bring to life. Later, I also gave a voice to pieces I had written years earlier in tribute to my mother. Through spoken word, I was able to express things I had kept within me for a long time.

All these projects are different, and the conversations that supported me were not necessarily about each of them. Yet, in their own way, they contributed to this change. I began allowing myself to try, to create, to learn, and to see through some of the things that mattered deeply to me.

I discovered that I could take the first step without being certain I would succeed at everything. That I could learn along the way. That I did not have to wait until I was no longer afraid to begin.

Above all, I came to understand that the words that had once made me doubt myself did not have to determine what I would be capable of accomplishing tomorrow. That was when I began to understand the power of encouragement a little more deeply.

We do not always realize the effect our words can have on someone. We may think we are simply having a conversation, sharing an idea, or making a suggestion that is not particularly important. But while we are speaking, someone may be fighting an inner battle against thoughts telling them that they are not capable, that they would be better off giving up, or that they should settle for what they already know.

I am not saying that every difficulty disappears because of a few kind words. Some wounds take time to heal, some fears do not fade in a single day, and some projects require far more than a little encouragement. But certain words can create an opening in the thoughts that hold us captive. They can help us consider another possibility, regain a little confidence, and take a step we no longer dared to take.

This also brings to mind these words of Jesus: “You are the light of the world.” — Matthew 5:14.

I have often thought of light as something that helps us see, illuminates a path, or allows us to recognize what lies ahead. But I am also realizing that light can be reflected in gestures that seem very simple.

Sometimes, being a light in someone's life does not necessarily mean providing a solution to all their problems. It does not necessarily mean delivering a great speech or knowing their entire story. It can also mean being the person whose words, attitude, or presence helps them glimpse a possibility they had stopped seeing.

In my own case, certain words had gradually darkened the way I viewed my abilities. They had taken up so much space that I sometimes found myself doubting dreams I genuinely wanted to pursue. Then, in the midst of all that, a kind person brought something different into my life.

This person may not have known everything that was going on inside me. They may not even have realized the impact of their words. But simply by being themselves and speaking as they did, they helped rekindle a flame I had allowed to grow dim.

That is what touches me about this experience: a person does not always need to know all the darkness someone else is going through to bring a little light into their life.

They can simply choose to support rather than belittle, to open up possibilities rather than close them off, and to believe that someone can learn and grow rather than reduce them to their present limitations.

And what if, without even knowing it, they helped change the way that person sees themselves?

I do not think we should wait until we know someone's struggles before showing them kindness. We do not always know what others are carrying in silence. Behind someone who seems hesitant, who constantly puts their projects off, or who does not dare to take the first step, there may be far more than a simple lack of motivation.

There may be a fear of failure, memories of attempts that were met with discouragement, words that gradually became deeply held beliefs, or simply a need to hear that trying is possible.

We cannot walk the journey on someone else's behalf. We cannot guarantee their success or take away all their fears. But we can pay attention to the way we speak to them. We can choose words that help them grow, remind them that their ideas are worth exploring, and support them in their desire to try.

Today, when I look back on my journey, I am grateful for the dreams I have finally dared to make room for in my life. I know that not everything has been accomplished and that I still have so much to learn, create, and pursue. But I no longer look at my projects quite the same way.

I have learned that I can hear discouraging words without having to let them define my abilities. I have also learned that the fact that I once doubted myself does not mean I must continue doubting myself for the rest of my life.

Above all, I have learned that encouragement is not always something spectacular. It can find its way into an ordinary conversation, a suggestion, or a question that encourages us to think differently. Sometimes, the person bringing that light does not even realize they are doing so.

Perhaps someone around you is carrying a dream they no longer dare to pursue. Perhaps they would love to write a book, launch a project, develop a talent, or try something new. Perhaps they have already started but are wondering whether they should keep going.

You may not know all the reasons behind their hesitation. But you can choose not to add to the weight of their doubts. You can offer a few words that help them look beyond their fears.

And who knows? Those words may not change everything immediately. But they could be the little ray of light that helps them see again what they thought they had lost. They could rekindle a flame they believed had gone out and, one day, turn their “Maybe I’ll do it someday” into “I’ve decided to try.”

So, when Jesus calls us to be the light of the world, perhaps we can also ask ourselves what difference we can make through our simplest conversations and through the way we see the people around us.

Because we do not always know what someone is going through or how far our words may reach. But we can choose to make our words a means of lifting others up, restoring hope, and helping someone believe again in what they carry within them.

— HH